Brainsprain.net » ren fest

Breakin’ the Law!

Chad — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:36:38 +0000

After the great steakhouse adventure, it was definitely time to get home. We were exhausted, a bit sunburned, and starting to get very sleepy. I decided I’d be more comfortable driving in my emergency back-up shorts rather than the kilt, so I did that girl trick where you pull on your shorts under your skirt/kilt and then take off the skirt/kilt. Very sexy. Very very glad I did it. We climbed into the car, and started heading home. It was dark and I was tired, so I was being extra careful watching my heavy foot. Very very glad I did it. The cop did a U-Turn out of the blackness by the side of the road, lights flashing. There wasn’t anybody else on the road, so I was pretty sure I knew who he was pulling over. I glanced down at my speedometer. I wasn’t going THAT fast, but I was speeding. I pulled way off the road, and the officer asked me to step out of the car. I carefully got my driver’s license and stepped out to speak to the officer. I’ll spare you the excruciating details of the conversation, but I will tell you that I was nice and polite. He kindly let me off with a warning, but somehow felt that a clichéd lecture would be just the thing to set me straight. Despite the fact that I was going a full nine miles over the speed limit. “This one’s on me,” he said, “But the next one’s on you.” I tried not to roll my eyes. I’d almost rather have a ticket than a lecture. Almost. Other than that, he was very nice, polite, and efficient. I felt he performed his duties with respect and decorum. All in all, a textbook traffic stop. But come on, you know he speeds. The cliché only served to make the man look stupid and condescending when he was otherwise very nice. So, if there are any cops reading this, please take note: If you’re gonna warn us, warn us. We get it at that point. If you can see we don’t, then don’t lecture, just write out the ticket. It’s your job. I understand.

Kilts and Cowboys

Chad — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 00:26:05 +0000

We had been at the Texas Ren Fest all day and were tired and more than a little hungry. Turkey legs are all well and good, but we wanted real food in a place where we could sit down. Navasota had a McDonald’s. Blah. A Pizza Hut. Would take too long. And… the world famous Wrangler Steak House. If you don’t know it, one of the best places in the entire world to eat is at a steakhouse in a small town. The food is all wonderful without a single thought given by the chef of fat content or cholesterol. We decided to go there, and pulled into the parking lot. There were an inordinate number of pickup trucks, even for that tiny Texas town. We walked in. All conversations stopped. I think I heard crickets. Eyes peered out at us from beneath cowboy hats. Peered at my kilt. Peered at Shane’s kilt. Were agog and April’s gypsy outfit and Colleen’s pants with the slit all the way up each leg. You’d think they’d be used to it by now, what with the Ren Faire just over the next hill, but you could almost hear people thinking, “DAMNED HIPPIES!“

Bloke in a Dress!

Chad — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 23:54:39 +0000

So here I am in a kilt, just like I went to the Texas Renaissance Festival on Saturday. Click on it for a larger version if you want to waste your bandwidth. We really did have fun. See? I wasn’t the craziest dressed one.

Texas Ren Fest (AKA The Freak Show)

Chad — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 18:58:52 +0000

We visited Texas’s finest Freak Show this weekend, and it was awesome. Aside from the regular renaissance attire, I noted countless slutty Halloween costumes and miscellaneous fairies, five angels, three super heroes, two video game characters, and one Stormtrooper. Yes, that’s Stormtrooper as in Star Wars. Awesome. Pictures of me in a kilt forthcoming. Stay tuned.