Brainsprain.net » humor

When Saas Attacks

Chad — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 13:50:15 +0000

So I work for a Software as a Service company, and the product I support is designed to contact users by phone, email, SMS, fax, etc., in the event of an emergency or disaster. It is very, very powerful. So a guy gets a genius idea, as an April Fool’s Joke, to have the system repeatedly call a colleague with several silly messages. The problem was that he didn’t know when enough was enough, and didn’t understand the system. He accidentally set it up to recur, which meant the message went out over and over. He also didn’t understand how to stop the recurrence, so he couldn’t cancel it.

Moral of the story: If you’re going to play an April Fool’s Joke, make sure you understand what you’re doing, otherwise an entire company may be laughing at you while your boss is screaming at you for misuse of a very expensive notification system.

Where Dreams Really DO Come True…

Chad — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 13:34:15 +0000

When you’re walking five to seven miles daily in a theme park, you need a lot of fluids. Even when you need a lot of fluids and consume a lot of fluids, certain fluid-related body functions speed up, and you find yourself visiting the many lovely restrooms available to you. I found myself at Epcot in the World Showcase in the evening, and decided to make a quick run to the restroom in Norway.ÂAlmost all the urinals were occupied, so I stepped up to a vacant one, unzipped, and began to answer nature’s urgent call. There were about 6 other men engaged in similar activity. One of them had a six-year-old son/nephew/grandson/kidnapee waiting for him behind us. As it is inappropriate to relieve gaseous pressures in mixed company (even in DisneyWorld), one of my peers noisily made more room. The six-year-old behind us began giggling uncontrollably. Well, I thought, there is no better time to do this, and besides, it’ll make the kid’s whole day if I follow up that other guy’s butt-trumpet with my own. I also cut loose. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with that thought, as five other gentlemen also picked that very moment to entertain the youth. The malodorous symphony we played for him sent him into gales of bellyaching laughter, which caused most of us to titter uncomfortably as we suddenly realized we had pressing engagements elsewhere. As I painstakingly avoided eye contact with the rest of the orchestra and got outta there, I couldn’t help thinking that the six of us had just made a little boy’s special Disney Wish come true.

Rec Room Revolution

Chad — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:01:16 +0000

Here’s a brief news story from the 90s about something brand new you may have heard of. It’s not a truck, but a series of tubes. And you have to watch it to believe it.

Frat House: The Diet

Chad — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 19:27:09 +0000

I’ve decided that I’m at the beginning of act three of a frat house movie with my diet.

Act I: Wild and Wacky Fraternity Antics

Act II: Uptight Dean threatens Wacky Frat to SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT!

So here it is, Act III, Scene 1…

Bacon: Dude, Dean Chad is really serious this time! I think he’s gonna make us really lose weight!

Stomach: Come on! It’s Chadsy! We’ve been here before with him! All we gotta do is lay low for a couple of weeks, drop a couple of pounds, and then he’ll get distracted and we’re back on the gravy train.

Sausage: We’ve already dropped ten pounds. That’s our WHOLE STASH! If he keeps up at this rate, we’re going to really have to lose the weight.

Stomach: Seriously? Ten pounds? We’re out of spare?

Chili-Cheese Dog: YES! Bacon, Sausage and I haven’t been able to set foot on campus in weeks! And Cheeseburger is so depressed he won’t come out of his room. Don’t talk to me about Ultimate Skillet. (sobs) He was so young!

Stomach: (getting serious) Okay, guys. You’re not out yet. I’ll just… well… lose the weight, I guess. You guys will just have to leave for a while until we can get it together. Then, maybe you can come back.

Bacon: (hopefully) Permanently? You’ll dump the Chicken and Tuna twins?

Stomach: I don’t know, Pig-Man. I don’t know.

(FADE TO – SPORTS TRAINING MONTAGE)