Brainsprain.net

After the great steakhouse adventure, it was definitely time to get home.  We were exhausted, a bit sunburned, and starting to get very sleepy.  I decided I’d be more comfortable driving in my emergency back-up shorts rather than the kilt, so I did that girl trick where you pull on your shorts under your skirt/kilt and then take off the skirt/kilt.  Very sexy.  Very very glad I did it.  We climbed into the car, and started heading home.  It was dark and I was tired, so I was being extra careful watching my heavy foot.  Very very glad I did it.  The cop did a U-Turn out of the blackness by the side of the road, lights flashing.  There wasn’t anybody else on the road, so I was pretty sure I knew who he was pulling over.  I glanced down at my speedometer.  I wasn’t going THAT fast, but I was speeding.  I pulled way off the road, and the officer asked me to step out of the car.  I carefully got my driver’s license and stepped out to speak to the officer.  I’ll spare you the excruciating details of the conversation, but I will tell you that I was nice and polite.  He kindly let me off with a warning, but somehow felt that a clichéd lecture would be just the thing to set me straight.  Despite the fact that I was going a full nine miles over the speed limit.  “This one’s on me,” he said, “But the next one’s on you.”  I tried not to roll my eyes.  I’d almost rather have a ticket than a lecture.  Almost.  Other than that, he was very nice, polite, and efficient.  I felt he performed his duties with respect and decorum.  All in all, a textbook traffic stop.  But come on, you know he speeds.  The cliché only served to make the man look stupid and condescending when he was otherwise very nice.  So, if there are any cops reading this, please take note:  If you’re gonna warn us, warn us.  We get it at that point.  If you can see we don’t, then don’t lecture, just write out the ticket.  It’s your job.  I understand.

We had been at the Texas Ren Fest all day and were tired and more than a little hungry.  Turkey legs are all well and good, but we wanted real food in a place where we could sit down.  Navasota had a McDonald’s.  Blah.  A Pizza Hut.  Would take too long.  And… the world famous Wrangler Steak House.  If you don’t know it, one of the best places in the entire world to eat is at a steakhouse in a small town.  The food is all wonderful without a single thought given by the chef of fat content or cholesterol.  We decided to go there, and pulled into the parking lot.  There were an inordinate number of pickup trucks, even for that tiny Texas town.  We walked in.  All conversations stopped.  I think I heard crickets.    Eyes peered out at us from beneath cowboy hats.  Peered at my kilt.  Peered at Shane’s kilt.  Were agog and April’s gypsy outfit and Colleen’s pants with the slit all the way up each leg.  You’d think they’d be used to it by now, what with the Ren Faire just over the next hill, but you could almost hear people thinking, “DAMNED HIPPIES!“

So here I am in a kilt, just like I went to the Texas Renaissance Festival on Saturday. Click on it for a larger version if you want to waste your bandwidth. We really did have fun. See? I wasn’t the craziest dressed one.

We visited Texas’s finest Freak Show this weekend, and it was awesome.  Aside from the regular renaissance attire, I noted countless slutty Halloween costumes and miscellaneous fairies, five angels, three super heroes, two video game characters, and one Stormtrooper.  Yes, that’s Stormtrooper as in Star Wars.  Awesome.  Pictures of me in a kilt forthcoming.  Stay tuned.

I went and saw this last night.  I expected your standard slasher porn:  blood, gore, haunted house gotchas, and boobies.  While I was not disappointed on any of these points, this was not your ordinary horror flick.  It had a very good, well-thought-out plot.  I was legitimately afraid of Michael Meyers from nearly his first appearance on screen as a ten year old boy.  Rob Zombie is shaping up to be a great director.  He’s come a very long way.  Go see Halloween!  It’s lots of fun.  And there’s boobies.

We just upgraded Brainsprain.net to WordPress 2.3 which now has tagging support, offering you a fun new way to peruse the archives.  It IS a bit disturbing how large that “rant” tag is, but so be it.  Enjoy!

What happened to poets who stood up for chance?
What happened to lovers who stood up to dance?
What happened to passion that came without brand?
Oh the times, they ain’t gonna change in this land.

We are products for product we are born with a void.
So much lust for fulfillment, that nothing’s enjoyed.
We use and we use all trends in demand.
Oh the times, they ain’t gonna change in this land.

So some of us gather to welcome the fall.
Some of us answer to a higher call.
But until we gather ourselves hand in hand…
Oh the times. they ain’t gonna change in this land.

It is said that no man is an island
yet I have sailed these waters and
seen one exactly thus.

Puzzled by my siren’s song,
he came to hear her and
she found herself, for once, without a song to sing.

Now she stays alone in her abalone bed,
confused and voiceless.
-Wide tessetura of seduction abandoned
and staccatissimo left on the hearts of her victims.

He was born to sail,
His blood runs thick with it
like the very salt of the sea
or the endless protein polypeptide chains
which halo and surround him in golden glory.

He is gratified in his solitude and
takes no comfort in the bows of this ship
or any other.

This ship sails on, but it continues to
stop off at the island now and then
just in case.

So yesterday, Chad told me that I needed to make sure I answered the door because he was expecting a package that I would have to sign for. Well, that limits my day a little but I only had plans to lunch with a friend and those plans fell through so it was no big deal. Under orders from my doctor to “get as much sleep as possible” all I have been doing the last few days is just that and it has left me rather groggy.

The doorbell finally rang with the courier at 4:00 and it was a man standing there with roses and a teddy bear. I nearly fell over. He said “I am looking for Colleen.” Well, if knew my husband, you would know that he HATES to send cut flowers. He says that they are a waste of money because they are already dying and it makes no sense. The analytical side of me sees that point while the girly side of me says SHUT UP! smushy smushy! So of course, I looked at the courier and went squeeeee and took the flowers inside and released the little bear from captivity. THEN…I read the card because it was no special occasion that I remembered and I was starting to wonder if he had broken something. The card read:

I met you in the Fall of 1989. I was 18. That was 18 years ago. You have enchanted me for half my life. My better half.

I just have to say one thing to say after receiving something so beautiful. Nanner Fareakin Nanner!

Last night, I came home tired and with a huge headache, so Colleen kindly allowed me to watch one of the most mindlessly entertaining movies of all time, Terminator 2. The most insane part, though, was Sarah Conner’s mad ramblings about how the world would end on August 29th, 1997. Ten years ago to the day that we watched Terminator 2. I love insane coincidences like that.

Afterwards, I made my robots clean my kitchen and living room, and totally taunted them. I figured, if they’re going to rise up and kill me one day, I should make certain they’re properly motivated.