Brainsprain.net

I wake up lost
But a small voice says I’m here
I wake up thinking no one needs me
But a small voice says they do
I wake up feeling insignificant
But a small voice says I’m not
I wake up aching with lonliness
But that voice says I’m not alone
I wake up empty
But I know I am full

I want to believe that voice
But I wake up thinking it’s lying

I spend my day letting it convince me
I to go bed found, needed, important, befriended, fulfilled

But I wake up lost
I wake up craving validation
Hungry for attention
starving for that small voice
which some days
is too small
and too weak

My sister had her baby just a bit ago. Happy Birthday to my nephew Reese William Watkins. Everybody’s okay.

He’s 5 lbs, 17″ long.

Dad just called, Mandi’s resting between contractions.  I could hear the beep beep of the baby’s heart monitor.  It’s a waiting game.  Dad’s bet of 10:00pm is rapidly approaching.  Mom chose the oddly random 11:42, and I just said, “Before Midnight.”  More news as it is available…

Mandi is doing okay and got her epidural about 40 minutes ago, apparently.  She’s doing fine and I have no real news other than to say thanks to everyone for checking in on us.  I’ll keep posting updates as I get them.

Today I had a really important meeting. I found out I get to make some changes at work that I’ve been working for for a long time. Towards the end, my stupid phone rang. My mom. She’d have to wait. I quickly selected “ignore” on the phone and finished making my points. The meeting was over and I picked up my phone to listen to my voice mail. Before I could hit the button, my phone rang again. This time it was my sister. I answered, feeling a vague stirring of worry settle into my stomach and stretch up into my throat. My sister has preeclampsia and they were really hoping she would be able to carry the kiddo another few weeks, but decided today that it couldn’t wait. Mom and Dad are hopping in a car right now to head to West Texas to be there. Everyone’s a little uneasy. With Colleen out of the country, there’s not much for me to do but pace and worry. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, friends.

Cupid is a fickled one
with heaven’s eyes
and devil’s tongue.
His aim is past the hearts he won.
Old young one aims to tease.

His wicked grin’s encased with fire.
Wooing you with lute or lyre.
His dance of knowing
pure, deep desire
You find you ache to please.

But capture him, you dare not try
for you will fall and fall from high
flash paper cinders arch the sky
and twirl askew to mother soil
so handle him with ease.

Even angels he has come to woo
know not to chase the little fae.
For endless is he to pursue.
As they exhaust, he does renew
and grounded, they fall on their knees.

Playland Skate Center officials declared the site “the safest place to be” last night as not only Supergirl, but Batgirl felt the beat and got down. A trio of super fans showed up in capes to support the duo. Batgirl sliced through the crowd on blades while Supergirl chose a more “American Way” on red white and blue quads.

The duo skated hard and furiously until a giant lobster showed up. Sensing that he was not actually a Super Villian but instead a tasty food item, the two began to realize their own super hunger and decided it was time to fly.

Yay! Happy Halloween from all of us at Brainsprain.net!

One of my favorite little odd past-times is to replace the pronouns in love songs so that I am singing to myself. It is a little narcissist tune and it makes me laugh. The effect goes something like this. “I love me. I honestly love me.” or “Just me and I, sharing my world together”.

I have recently realized just how telling my little songs were. I am hereby granting all my friends validation stamps. They are invisible. Whenever I start in on something that sounds like I am just seeking validation, you are to just mock stamping my forehead and say VALID! This will help me identify these narcissistic moments. Thanks. I am working on it. I really am guys.

That’s right, suckers!  I won a weekly email promotion, my e-mail was attached to the winning ticket and I’m getting €870,812.79!  All I have to do is contact the lotto authority in Madrid and provide them with my bank account information and they’ll deposit that into my account immediately.  This is so awesome, I bet I can quit my day job and buy a sail boat!  I wonder how much that is in USD?  Hmm… $1,234,567.89!! That’s a lotta money!  Oh wait… Wow.  That’s a funny coincidence, isn’t it??

Seriously, do people actually fall for that??  (Exchange rate as of 9/28  € » $ was 1.4177)