Brainsprain.net » Chad

Harsh Sun

Chad — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 00:51:19 +0000

In a disused field
at the end of an untraveled road
sits an abandoned warehouse
a forgotten boy
gives an unseen performance
he has practiced for weeks
charted the progress of the sun
across the gritty floor
so the light would be perfect
he plays all the parts
he is riveting
and captivating
and his audience
which is also him
gives him a standing ovation
and when he bows in gratitude
a single teardrop
hits the floor
and mixes with the grit there
and dries
and is also quickly forgot
and the flowers outside
which are not beautiful
because, he was told once
by someone who knows
are merely weeds
nod their indifference
to the dry unfeeling breeze
are his harshest
and only
critics

Don’t Use It If You Don’t Get It

Chad — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 01:55:32 +0000

Read this:

http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/us-stocks-tumble-biggest-drop/story.aspx?guid={01F6F134-2ECE-4D6B-8829-18D411D5FD94}&dist=msr_1

Or maybe just this excerpt:

“Everybody is looking for the silver bullet to fix the economy, but there isn’t one,” said Chris Johnson, chief executive of Johnson Investment Research in Cincinnati. “I think what they’re doing here is too little, too late.” Johnson has recently been using options contracts and exchange-traded funds to go short, or bet on a general decline in the stock market.

Okay, I have a REAL problem with this, Chris. Get it right. Silver bullets kill lycanthropes. So, if the economy were rampaging through the village terrorizing innocents, as it did before the tech bubble burst, then this analogy might have been appropriate. In its current lethargic state, however, shooting it with a silver bullet would, presumably, cause it to moan and die. Aren’t we worried that it’s not well as it is?

If you’re searching for an analogy, here’s a better one:

Everyone’s hoping for a crack pipe to pass to the economy to really pep it up and make it feel great and like nothing is wrong, despite all the evidence to the contrary, but the main dealer left Washington in January.

Letter from W to Obama Revealed!

Chad — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:16:42 +0000

There has been much speculation in the press today about what W might have said to Obama in the letter. I managed to get a copy of it, and am sharing it here in a world exclusive:

Dear Mr. President,

Make three copies of this letter and send them to three other world leaders within twenty-four hours for eight years good luck! If you don’t, terrorists will attack, natural disasters will strike when you’re not ready, and people will give you horrible approval ratings. TRUST ME ON THIS!

Rainbow Lawnmower

Chad — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 16:32:33 +0000

I saw him again today, way off in the distance

Under his rainbow, his lawnmower pushing him higher

Does he know how it makes me feel to see him

Way up in the sky, doing donuts around zephyrs?

Like singing in joy at his freedom from the ground

His distance from it measured not in humdrum x

Or boring y… But in the unexplored dimension of z

And cursing his name for reminding me that my feet

Are ungratefully stuck to the nurturing ground

As I trudge from my car to my door

My load at once lightened by his joy

And immediately weighted down by my own lack of flight

So he has no net effect on me

And I don’t write this

And I don’t yearn to fly

Ceci n’est pas une pipe

Chad — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 02:20:36 +0000

What if everything I know is illusion?

Nothing more substantive than images on a television screen?

The things I worry about are empty nothings?

The things I hold dear are hollow promises?

What if the illusion is me?

Then so is my worry and so are my loves.

And the empty hollow nothing is

unworthy of self indulgent

air quotes

poetry

100 Mile Check In

Chad — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:14:13 +0000

As of today, I’ve run 100 miles since I started keeping track on July 7, 2008. That’s 5k five days a week. That’s 165k today, or 102.52 miles. I ran my 5k this morning in 38 minutes and 43 seconds. That’s neither my slowest nor my fastest, but about average. I weigh 226.6 lbs. I’m writing this because I wonder what all these statistics were one year ago to see how much I’ve progressed, but at least now next year (or in 3 months or whatever) I can know.

Water Balloon Fight to the Death

Chad — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 01:12:27 +0000

We just got finished expending 2200 water balloons, filled over the last 3 days. It was, again, positively glorious.

Test Entry from my iPhone

Chad — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 15:46:30 +0000

I got a little application for my iPhone that should let me blog from anywhere. If it works well, I might be making more frequent entries… Here goes nothing!

My Lovely Expensive Brick

Chad — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:34:25 +0000

I’m actually standing in the Apple store blogging this. I had hoped the network problems were mine, but the iTunes upgrade very carefully wiped my iPhone in preparation for the 2.0 upgrade and now REFUSES TO REACTIVATE. Yeah, that means I’m currently without a phone.

The Apple folks here are like, “Well, yeah! The servers are slammed!”

Thanks. Thanks a lot. That’ll teach me.

Tuesday in Vegas

Chad — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 16:51:27 +0000

I woke up Tuesday morning (my birthday) to the sound of my iPhone dinging. Seems a couple of people due to arrive that day had missed their flight, and were texting me to let me know that they would attempt to catch the next flight to Vegas and to sit tight. I got up, and Colleen was still asleep and it was pretty early, so I decided that a great birthday gift to myself would be to go work out. I went to the fitness room and spent some time on a stationary bike and then ran about a mile and a half on a treadmill and returned to the room. I got back and showered and woke the wife and we dressed and met up with everyone to eat breakfast. We ate at the inappropriately named “The Coffee Shop” inside of TI. I say inappropriately named because the coffee was just drip and terrible. No lattes, cappucinos, nothing. The food was pretty good, though. By the time we were finished eating, the stragglers arrived from the airport, having managed to make the next flight. They dropped their stuff in our room, and we hiked across the street to the monorail station and headed over to the Las Vegas Hilton, home of Star Trek: The Experience and where I wanted to spend my birthday.

We got there about fifteen minutes before they opened, and got in the line to buy tickets to the attractions. We got a package deal which included The Klingon Encounter, Borg 4D, pictures on the bridge and in the Borg chamber, and a backstage tour. I waited impatiently for everyone to buy their tickets, and was very excited. When we were finally ready to go through, we presented our tickets to a lady who looked at me and shook her head a little.

She said, “I’ve worked here for ten years. I’ve admitted Klingons who refused to speak English. I’ve seen families of Andorians including infants — PAINTED BLUE. I’ve seen it all. I have never seen anyone as excited to be here as you are.” Best. Compliment. Ever.

We went through and did the two rides, and then stopped for a quick appetizer and drink in Quark’s Bar before the backstage tour. We went on the tour where we learned all kinds of interesting secrets about the attraction, and then had our pictures taken. Exhausted, as by this time we’d spent a good five hours Experiencing Star Trek, we sat down in Quark’s Bar for actual food and even more actual booze.

My geekdom sated, we made our way back to the hotel and drank even more in Kahunaville that night.