Brainsprain.net

Always one of my favorite topics, but nothing brings it to the forefront of my mind like a sudden change in appearance. With all the weight I’ve lost (50 lbs so far!) and the new hairdo, I’ve noticed a distinct difference in the way I’m treated by strangers.

Prejudice simply means judgments on someone based on the way they look, and we all do it — it’s a survival technique. Six months ago, people immediately dismissed me as jolly and harmless. Now that I’m way down in weight and have extremely short hair, I fall into another category. The wife describes it as “tougher,” but I assure you it’s only skin deep. Oddly, though, it’s resulted in better service when I go to someplace like Fry’s. I think it’s cause I ordinarily don’t go around with a big grin on my face, and without the hair, that equates to a scowl, I guess. I’m going to experiment with wearing a big grin and see how that changes the reaction I get. Stay tuned for details.

While we’re discussing interesting stuff, you should read this. My buddy Bill sent it to me, and it’s a pretty powerful idea. At the very least, it’ll provoke conversation. At most, it could change the world.

Rising and falling, my chest recalls
a pastoral ballad played by a concert cellist.
In viscous counterpoint,
my neurons pluck at my memory a wild pizzicato.

Today, I sun dream of you.
Your wild, cables of cinnamon hair
cross my memory like it did your face -a lion’s mane defying Venus.
The crescendo and hush of our voices made a joke of entropy
for we were ripe and full with the fruit of making.

Now, the wine of the poets has peaked.
But, a heart shaped wing-print remains in my garden.
And by the healing tree, your gold eyes flash mischievous photons
at me under your lids – like you had treasure chests of Hollywood’s greatest bullion
and I were the worlds greediest pirate.

You are love and loved. Grow, green thing.
We are forever and you are now.

I predict that all barriers and objections to stem cell research are about to crumble. We’re about to enter an era of aggressive research, all because scientists have extremely promising results in a cure for one of the most seriously debilitating diseases of human beings since time began: Baldness. That’s right. Stem cells will be used to cure baldness. Now, if we could just figure out a way to cure erectile dysfunction with stem cells, we’d really run up the national debt.

Today is a red-letter day for me. Today marks the halfway point on my journey to my target weight. 40 down, 40 to go. In this case, I see the glass as both half-empty and half-full. I think either way, it’s optimistic.

As I swam in a fast moving spring,
a very tall man in a floppy, tan hat
walked his bike along the footpath.

His big feet wore shocking pink shoes
and I, shocked in turn, closed my eyes.

Photons collided against my lids in
warm, solar memory bombs
transported me to a picture of you
swimming in a pool just like mine.

In two weeks, my age will be the same
as yours turned right after we met.
It troubled you so.
Now it is here to trouble me.
But you are not.

*warning the following commentary contains satire, if you are unfamiliar with it or are an idiot please disregard this blog.

As an American, I believe that we have gone the wrong way in dealing with foreign relations. Being proud of our culture is one thing, but to be hateful to the people of France while doing it shows a disrespect to Europeans on a level that is just no longer politically correct. If you really stop to think about the names we give to these people, you will see what I mean. We do our best to be conscious of those that live here, but what of the Americans that live abroad? Aren’t they Americans too? Take the people of France, for example. We have been calling them “French” for so long. Wouldn’t you be offended if someone called you French? All this time, we have had the answer right here under our noses. It is on every can of Spaghetti-Os and we couldn’t see it because we were just too racist or too proud. They want to be called Franco-Americans. That is their dream, people. So next time you go to McDonalds, proudly order your Franco-American fries and super size them! Do it for your country. Do it for ALL European-Americans. Remember, just because someone wasn’t born here or doesn’t live here, doesn’t make them any less an American and underneath it all, our veins are blue and our blood cells are either red or white!

the day the blackbird came
the eggplant hues shone off its wings
and all it did was beckon me
along the paths of decadence
old perceptions snuggled near
and I mused upon my younger sin.

then came next the red tail hawk
that lit so fast on my heart
that it nearly took it
when it flew away so quickly.

then sat the redbird next to me
and sang sweet melodies
that made me cry for I knew
it was not long before
it took the sky effulgent.

finally the golden eagle spoke
with reminiscent thankfulness
that made me remember why.

I was diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea late last year and received a machine (CPAP) to treat it on January 12th, 2007. I endured sores on the inside of my nostrils to acclimate myself to the machine, insisting on wearing it all night, every night in spite of the recommendations that I wear it for a few hours a night and gradually work up from there.

For the first time in years, I truly woke up.

Without prompting from anyone, I began my diet just over two weeks later and now have lost almost 40 pounds, I work out every day, and feel like I can think again. If you snore or think you might have sleep apnea, talk to your doctor. It might make as huge a difference in your quality of life as it has mine.Â

One thing we’re good at here in the good old U.S. of A. is bolting that barn door CLOSED once the cows have gone.

Fleen: Your Favorite Faux-Muckrakers Since 2005 » Interview With The Vampire Terror Suspect

Here’s a guy who was investigated for “making terrorist threats” for writing a web comic. Benjamin Franklin said, “They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”

He was talking about us.

OK, I am on a diet plateau. I have done pretty well so far. Between me and Chad, we have lost a supermodel or a ballerina. I am getting impatient now though. I need to kick up the exercise. I have been doing the floor work (pilates-ville), but I am gonna need some cardio. After sitting with my tri-athlete friends at lunch yesterday and hearing about a 4 hour workout of swimming and biking, I decided that a daily dance jog really won’t kill me and it might be kind of silly and fun. Besides, I know the parrots will like to bob their heads along.