Brainsprain.net

Dear Sirs,

Since you do not provide any contact information on your web site, I’ll just post this message to you on my blog, hoping you’ll do a vanity search and read it one day.

Viral marketing only works if it’s truly viral.  Your recent attempts to get me talking about your movie have failed.  Sure, I’m blogging about it, but I’m not mentioning the name of the movie, ergo it won’t generate that much sought after buzz you’re going for.  Let’s just say that this is my definition of “What Marketing Isn’t.”

Yesterday I received TWO PHONE CALLS from your COMPUTER with a recording pretending to be my friend. This computer said something along the lines of:

(as if to someone else) Hold on a sec, shut up… (to my answering machine) Hey, it’s me!  I just got out of the theater seeing (censored to avoid publicizing your movie) and I thought of you the whole time!  One of the main characters is going through just what you are, you have GOT TO SEE THIS MOVIE!  Go see (censored) and call me back and let me know what you thought.  Talk to you soon!

Okay, jack-ass… First off, I don’t know you, therefore I didn’t remind you of anything other than you made a movie and need my money.  Secondly, I might have gone to see it. I kinda wanted to. You almost had my money.  Then you blew it with this load of crap.  I will not see this movie because of this underhanded tactic.  You will not have my money.  In fact, I’m planning to watch your website for more movies not to see.  Since you market to dumbasses who fall for this sort of marketing, I obviously wouldn’t enjoy your movies anyway.  I hope to see you go out of business soon. Enjoy your obscurity, I hope it follows you until your funding runs out.

Sincerely,

Chad

Tags:movies,rant