Brainsprain.net

Does blogging help appease hunger pangs?  Let’s find out… I knew when I started this thing that there would be moments like this… Moments when a cheeseburger, fries, and an order of hot wings would start chanting my name.  Right now they’re doing that “Eat Me” dance from Addams Family Values on the inside of my eyelids.  I take deep breaths and remember my favorite diet fantasy to get through:

I’m in the midst of a terrible, worldwide famine. Skinny WebEx salesmen and other annoying people are dying all around me. Sure, I’m hungry. Sure, I’m starving on barely half the nutritional requirements of my body.  But I planned and trained for this for seventeen years. My mighty hump is providing me with all the nourishment I need, and at the end of all this, I will shed it in favor of a new, healthy, lean body in a world where everyone who pisses me off has starved to death. It’s brutal, but there is nothing I can do to save them. I take some of the food I’ve scrounged and put it in a secret place to give to the people I love. My belly is strong and good and will sustain me another day.

Um, yeah, I need to get back into therapy… 63 more pounds to go.